I clearly heard the directions from the other end of the phone, “Do not touch anything.”
In minutes, after suggesting it sounds like I’d better let you go. I got this photo from my daughter’s iphone.
We do encourage sharing.
We do encourage creativity.
Seriously, parenting includes a lot of OJT (On the Job Training) and awareness of child psychology (where children are the real instructors.)
Don’t get me wrong, my daughter is one of the most amazing “Mom’s” I know but, its tough.
When raising my three awesome kids (all now amazing adults) I was instructed in a method called positive discipline. The basic principle is you tell the child (or children) what it is you DO WANT rather than giving them clear directions about what you don’t want. Like “use your walking feet” instead of don’t run. It is a great way to direct your child or a group of children in a classroom or field trip. It actually gives the adult the chance to catch the kid off guard for a change.
Being the independent thinker that I am (and have always been), it occurred to me that there was one step better than telling my children what to do. Idetermined to make them aware that a good versus poor decision was in front of them. So instead of saying, “don’t pour your milk on the table” or “the pillow is for laying your head on, not hitting your sister.” I decided to snap my fingers when I SAW a point of decision. Thus, in principle BEFORE sister got wacked with the pillow or the entire glass of milk was poured out the child KNEW there was good or poor choice to be made.
I can still see their faces. Each of my three children, to this day, HATE to hear my fingers snap. They are all adults but, still remember those early days when rather than my “telling them” what to do or not to do, I made them aware of a turning point. Despite the fact that my kids hated my “undirection” each are well equipped to know that in life there are many deciding points.
Today, I have three of the most amazing, beautiful, brilliant grandkids in the universe. They have wonderful parents. But, there are times when I must leave the room to stifle the laughter and tears when the grandchildren teach us all a lesson in child psychology.
Parenting is one of the most valuable yet confusing things you will ever endeavor to do. We continue to get new guidelines:
The only thing I can say without a doubt is that it is imperative that we love our children unconditionally. Every day, no matter what and make sure they HEAR & SEE that we love them. And, please don’t forget to have fun!