Denise David

I have spent the last several months in a study of body language. No, I did not read any new books on the subject or do an online research project. Instead, I have intentionally “listened” with my eyes.

While at the gym, I watched sports, news and old sit coms to determine how much of what was being said I could understand without earphones and gain understanding by visual observation alone. More recently, I had the opportunity to travel abroad. I watched golf in German. Viewed a documentary on the effects of music and dance on memory in Italian. Plus a few classic favorite movies I had the chance to re view in French. (Keep in mind, I don’t know German, Italian or French)What a fun exercise!

My purpose was to become more aware of body language and determine how much of what is being “said” beyond the spoken word I am “hearing.” An additional outcome I anticipated was an increased awareness of my own body language. Where my “unspoken message” might be perceived as negative or unreceptive?  How could I make even slight changes to improve receptiveness? What might improvements be made to make others feel more welcome, accepted or heard?

My project reinforced the power of a smile, direct eye contact and open hand gestures.

Each of us speak VOLUMES daily without saying a word by our facial expressions, our stance, movement of hands and arms.  In many cases, we are unaware of what our body language “sounds like.” For example, I was working with a 6 foot 6 former military guy. His military at ease stance did nothing to put the customers he was speaking to “at ease” on the contrary it was quite intimidating. He was not even aware of his stance until I mentioned it and the effect it was having on his customers.

Ask someone to see to observe and help you keep your unspoken dialogue in check. It can make a big difference in how you are received.

Reflectionz

Reflection

Visual, Physical, Psychological

When I stand in front of a mirror I see the visual reflection of myself. A chance to see what others see rather than what I think I look like.

Light causes a reflection, too. Evening lighting often appears to repeat itself on numerous surfaces at once.

Consideration of thoughts, ideas, emotion, possibilities or circumstances can also be deemed reflection.

Taking the time for personal reflection is invaluable. However, unless we purpose to do so, we often move through our days without making such deep reflection a priority.

What is your visual reflection or image? Am I neat, attractive, fit, poised, happy or thoughtful? How closely does my “look” reflect who I am to others?

How does my energy show in my surroundings? Am I a light or a shadow? Do I bring warmth, enthusiasm, humor & creativity or do I squelch it?

What is my state of mind? Are joy, purpose, and eagerness to learn, assimilate and improve a part of my daily reflection? Have I considered what I like, want, strive for or am will to invest myself into?

Interestingly, reflection is not a destination but, rather an ongoing process. I keep my road map for reflection in hand and enjoying the journey.

Had the chance to view movie “The Back Nine” about a guy who decided to become a pro golfer after 40.  Jon Fitzgerald documented much of his reflection and process in pursuing his personal goal. One of the concepts I took away was from one of the many different “coaches” Jon enlisted to help him reach his goal. Golf Zen. Dr. Joseph Parent wanted to help him do quick evaluations (or reflections) often to determine if he was on PAR.

PAR

Preparation

Action

Response to results

My golf game is rusty to say the least but, I want to be on PAR and anticipate the choice to make quick evaluations (or reflections) often will make a difference the outcomes I seek both personally & professionally. Have you checked your reflection recently?

I have learned to believe that ATTITUDE DOES Make a difference!

Do you have the mind set and attitude which will produce winning, championship level results?

** I LOVE THIS!

“Packers coach’s ring ploy pays off in end<http://msn.foxsports.com/nfl/story/Mike-McCarthys-ring-ploy-pays-off-for-Packers-in-Super-Bowl-XLV-020711>

Not many coaches would have their players fitted for title rings the night before the Super Bowl. But Mike McCarthy’s confidence in his team helped lead Green Bay to victory, Nancy Gay says.”

Those guys could just “picture” themselves wearing that Super Bowl Ring. They KNEW their coach believed in them. Perhaps that is the KEY to the Packers Feb Championship Victory.

How about YOU?

Can you PICTURE YOURSELF as a consistent WINNER?

Do you have a coach, mentor or associate who believes in you?

I have had the opportunity to participate in seminars and read books by leadership development expert, John Maxwell. He really knows how to communicate some of the challenges people face while trying to reach championship level. One idea I consider invaluable is to “toggle fear into adreninline.” Each time I have faced a new and daring challenge I remember the importance of being fearless.